Tips to improve your dining experience from the perspective of your server

 Ok all,

I just have to put up a post of common logic that should be used when you go to a restaurant.  Working in the dining service industry you see a lot of obnoxious and rude things, along with a lot of mishaps.  Here's a few tips I'd give to you all because frankly, it can be annoying to the business.

1. Read the Menu: This seems like a fairly logical one, but for a lot of the customers I run into on a daily basis, most don't and then the company is faced with the burden of taking care of YOUR mistake. Yes, they are willing to do it, but they are losing money when they do.  And in this economy, it's not entirely fair to put the burden of blame on them.
           *If you have a question about an item you want to order, please ask. Most staff should be                 knowledgeable about the menu and should be able to easily answer your questions.

2. Be kind to the server:  I've worked in dining services that range from full service to food court settings, and I'll tell you A LOT of gossip and mud slinging about customers happens behind the scenes.  But it's more likely to happen if you get ornery at the server.  Remember, they are just doing their job.  If they've done a lousy job, then you have every right to be upset.  But more often than not, they are normal people trying their best to do a good job.  Do that, and you will probably get better service and a more willing server.

3. Listen to the server when they speak to you: I currently work in a fast-causal dining environment where the customer orders up front and then takes a seat and the food is brought to them. Similar to Kneaders or Zupa's.  And I can tell you, one of the number one causes of messed up orders is neither party listening to each other.  A lot of my customers will rattle off what they want then walk off because someone else is paying or they will half-listen to me when I try to read back the order.  PEOPLE! If the server reads back the order it's because they don't want to mess it up.  Pay attention and be helpful because that is the key to making sure that you get exactly what you would like.
              * The term the customer is always right can be frustrating in a situation like this.  You have a right to get the food you want, but if you fail to pay attention. Please don't act like a jerk, sometimes it is your fault and it also makes the staff want to be less helpful if you're rude.  Remember, they're not paid enough to do what they do, so please be fair.

4. Don't get ornery if your server approaches your table and asks a question:  Sure, it's kind of annoying to have your conversation put on hold for a few seconds. Especially if you were onto something good, or if you're talking about something private.  But the server doesn't know that and they are there to make sure you are taken care of.  And if that means clearing your dishes, then that is the best they can do to make you more comfortable.  Take a few seconds to listen and talk to the server because if you don't want them to take your plate, they need to know.

5.  Be kind when questions are asked:  I know that "Do you want a recommendation from the menu?"  or the server talking over the menu quickly with you if you haven't been to the restaurant before can get a little annoying.  But once again, remember they're doing their job, and awkward body language from you makes it difficult to do that.  When I worked at a full service restaurant, part of the "routine" was to describe two meals from the menu, I could seriously get in trouble if I didn't, because the goal is to make money and sell food. (Sorry if that burst your bubble in any way) And I can tell you that I can't keep on one hand how many times I've gotten the annoyance look or the glares because they don't want to hear it.  And what makes it more frustrating, is when I could have cleared up questions the first time and they are later asked because you refused to listen to what I had to say.  Sorry, but that is frustrating for the server and makes you run the risk of being part of the gossip circle in the back room.

6. A smile or a thank you can make a difference:  Most servers are students just trying to survive, they're worn out and tired, yet they are there, missing dates, movies, and other activities to make sure you are being taken care of when you go and eat.  Take the time to show some appreciation.  A thank you, a smile or some form of gratitude can change the server's day.  Especially if they were really wanting to go to the movies with their roommates and instead are working on a Saturday night.  Remember, sometimes people are put to work so you can have a good time. Yes, they're willing to do it, but the gratitude can do wonders for your service.

7. Don't let your bad attitude/day be taken out on the server:  Unless you have a Seriously Real Reason to get angry at your server, don't do it.  Once again, they aren't generally paid a lot and they are there working hard to make sure you're taken care of.  They have lives too, boyfriends, drama, homework, and they don't need more stress than necessary.  If you are ornery or demanding to the point you are a serious pain in the butt.  This is probably the Number one thing that will get the mud flying in the back.  Food service is a stressful job and they are trying their best.  Being a pain will only frustrate your server and might cause them to give  bad service because they want you gone.  Sorry, but true.

8. 90-95% of the time, it's not the server's fault:  Everyone makes mistakes, it's what makes us human. But the most frustrating thing is when the server gets the blame when it wasn't their fault for the mess up.  A large majority of the time it is something else.  Largely, it can be the cook's fault (I'm not trying to pass the blame unfairly, but it's true) for whatever reason. They made the food wrong, added a side you didn't want etc.  One time I took the fall for the cooks not replacing the paper in the kitchen printer and my order got lost in limbo.  And even after they replaced it, the order didn't come through and I had no clue until 20 minutes later when I went to get the food and it wasn't there.   And the table got angry at me, and it was frustrating.  Try to remember that honestly sometimes there could be another factor to why something has messed up, and try to be understanding. Please.

9. Be honest with the server: If a problem arises and the server asks what they can do to remedy it, be honest.  If you seriously don't feel like you need to be reimbursed or something, let them know that and let it go.  Don't stew over it then complain to someone later.  I once had a situation where some food came out cold and I offered to fix the problem.  I was told many times that it was ok, and then later the person who told me that went and complained to my manager that I had been the one to try and fix the problem.  My manager had been really busy that evening and hadn't had time to talk with the table and gave me specific instructions to take care of it, which I tried to do.  Also, if you don't like what you ordered, that's fine, tell us and we'll take care of you.
                   *Not to mention, a free dessert is never bad.

10.  Be patient with the business if the restaurant is busy:  I run into so many grumpy people when we are the busiest.  And it can be very stressful because there's a million things that need to be done, and frankly, we are trying our best to take care of everyone.  Also, don't approach your server while they are doing something else and ask them to do another task.  90% of the time, it's going to be forgotten.  If they approach your table to bring your food, or to clear dishes etc.  That is the best time to ask a question, because they can make sure it gets taken care of instantly because they are finishing a task. Or they will make sure that someone else gets it done for you.

11. If the sign is not lit up, that means they're closed - that is fairly self explanatory.  And don't get upset if it doesn't fit into your schedule. You're not really fitting into theirs either and they REALLY would like to go home at the end of the day.


They probably seem very similar, but I promise, if you use some of these things you will most likely get better service and a nicer staff.  They are willing to take care of you, you need to be kind and approachable.
The customer is always right, but that doesn't mean you need to act like a jerk.

Breathtaking

So, yesterday was P-day for my missionary.
For those of you who don't know what that means it's kind of their day off. P=Preparation, so on that day they can write friends and family and they can e-mail as well. 
Trent and I had our usual e-mail session which actually was cut short. I honestly believe it's because he had nothing better to say.  And as usual I had been profusely apologizing for something I'd said in last weeks letter.  To which he once again replied that I didn't need to apologize, because it was completely fine. K, fine.

I went through the rest of my day, and it was great, I worked out some stuff with my degree, finished a paper that was two weeks late as it is.  Had a nice final class for one of my classes.   Then we got out early and I came home and then went to a ward activity since it was our closing social and, frankly, I haven't had the time to go and I thought I should say goodbye to this ward and make some final happy memories.

(We went roller skating btw, and I felt, quite a bit. But it was fun.)

Anyway, got home and was surprised to find another e-mail from Trent. The reason being he had access to a computer because he's spending this week at the office.  So, he had permission to get back on, and he didn't say much.  But the last thing he did say made my heart skip a beat.  This is what he said:

"Did you know you're so beautiful it takes my breath away?"

Naturally I was flattered, and then thankful that i have such a kind boy.  But when I woke up this morning the thought hit me.
Am I seriously so stunningly beautiful that I can make Trent breathless?

My first reaction was to tell myself that was how Trent is, but as I thought about it it occurred to me that all women are beautiful in their own way, and stunning in their own way.  And there is one person who will catch their breath while looking at us.  We don't need to be a Kiera Knightly  or [place name of most beautiful actress from your perspective here]  because, well they have makeup artists. And most of the time they are fake individuals as it is.

Trent helped me to figure out I was truly beautiful.  And beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder.  We can easily find some type of fault with ourselves.  For me, I could always afford to lose a few pounds, and get into shape.  But Trent hasn't cared about what jean size I wear, because he sees me as who I truly am.  And the right man in your life will remind you of that.  It's our job to believe it, even if we don't have someone right now, it is possible to see yourself as you truly are, and that is beautiful.

As I was writing this, I thought of this video I saw this morning on a friend's blog, and I feel like it applies to the term Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it was a good reminder to me that while we're all different, we're all so beautiful.  Please watch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=litXW91UauE&feature=player_embedded

Wasn't that amazing? So let's make a goal to being the stunning and breathtaking women we are.

That lost feeling

Hey everyone,
So, naturally I've slacked off again and so tonight I have decided to write about what ails me.

(As if I don't do that enough right? haha)

Anyway, as I may have stated earlier in this blog, I was diagnosed with Depression in early January, and with that comes some slight anxiety and paranoia.  It sucks, it truly does, and I felt like I could fight back with a metal bat or something.

But this stuff doesn't go away overnight.  There is a very definite healing process that needs to take place, and often it'll take longer than we would prefer.  Sure, fighting back is good, at least it has been in my situation because it's a start to get a handle on everything.  But the thing for me about fighting it, is that I'm not accepting the problem, just ignoring it and hiding it.  And sometimes, you need to take it on in a different fashion to the point where you have to let it permeate you again, so that you can kill it with kindness so to speak.

I've still yet to learn this lesson.

The best way I can describe it to my readers is like taking a pop bottle, and shaking it up, shaking, shaking and shaking until the pressure in the bottle is so much more than it can take.  And then the cap comes off, or it just eventually explodes.  Unfortunately, that's how I deal with my problems.  I bottle them up, and try to tell myself that the shaking of life around me isn't affecting me as much as it truly is.  Then something happens, and that cap comes off, and I end up being so much more depressed, so much more self conscious, and I always feel so lost and dark inside.  Unfortunately it's also during those times that I feel hopelessly worthless and lost.

And as a member of the LDS Church, I know the truth of both those things.  I'm a daughter of God, and I have never been, nor will I ever be worthless in His eyes.  And in the end, it's how He thinks of us and how we see ourselves that matters.  Not anyone else can tell us otherwise.  As for the lost feeling, I know where I can turn to, but sometimes, it's hard to remember those things because, come on, we all like to try and fix things ourselves right?




I thought the same thing when I was in debt a month ago, I can do it, I'll be alright.  Then my parents got a notification from the bank that I was late on payments and well, there was no more hiding it to myself convincing myself that it'll be ok.   Because it never will.  And honestly, if we are willing to be honest with ourselves and with God, (and our parents as well) that is always such a huge burden that can be taken off of your shoulders.  It may not magically fix the problem, but you have people that are there beside you to help you through it.   And with my  being in debt situation, it was good knowing that my parents knew because they were pushing me to take care of it before it became too bad and out of control.

In the end, we all will go through times where we feel lost, but if we turn to our Heavenly Father and rely on Christ's Atoning Sacrifice, we don't have to be completely lost.  Sure, there will be times in life that may seem dark, but with them we can survive and we can make it though while learning what we need to learn. 

I love my religion, and I love my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, with them all things are possible, and with them I can succeed at all things.  I am so thankful that I don't have to live my life in a continuous feeling of loss wandering from place to place.  And that means that I know in my heart that this lost feeling wont last forever, which makes it so much easier to go from day to day until it becomes easier because we've successfully made it out of the fog that life gives us.

Long, rough week - great ending and lessons learned

Ok, so I figured you all should have an update about my last post.

Trent is being allowed to stay on his mission.

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the text his mom and forwarded to me that he had sent her. (First of all it was nice to have a real text from him again) but I was so super ecstatic when I read the text.  I literally couldn't believe what I was seeing.  After 5 long days of little sleep and worry wishing this nightmare could be over, it was.  And he wasn't coming home.  I wondered for the first several hours if I was dreaming, but the text  was (and is) still in my phone.

To tell you the truth, this past week has felt like a really interesting dream, one of those things that starts off really nasty and you're wondering when you're going to get out of it but it still ended happy.  But knowing that he wouldn't have to come home took such a burden off of my shoulders that I hadn't realized had been there.  It kind of settled there when his mom called me a week ago to tell me the news, and it got heavier when I realized that he needed me more than ever and if he was to come home that I'd have a huge role to play.  I'd have to be stronger than I was now, and frankly, that scared me. I struggle with moderate depression, and the mission has already been rough at parts in staying strong.  But at the same time I've been blessed with a busy schedule to keep me distracted while he is gone and frankly, it's helped pass the time.  But I've really had to pull my strength out of my dusty locked box in order to get through some days.  And when I found out he could be coming home, I questioned whether I could be strong enough for the both of us.  There were so many unknowns facing me and so many questions that were going unanswered.

The only answer I kept getting was that everything will be ok, and everything will be worked out.

It didn't keep me from worrying though.  And his e-mail on monday helped calm me down a bit, but I was still really worried because we had no indication of what direction the decision would go.  And so I tried to allow myself to imagine him home.  And for some reason, I didn't like the idea.  I saw him and us struggling, me having to be the strong one of the two of us, encouraging him to try and go back.  And I didn't like the idea of what I had to do.

Unfortunately, I told the Lord this, probably wasn't the best choice I made, but I felt like I needed to tell Him exactly how I was feeling, my fears and worries about all of this.  I spent several nights in my room crying, wondering what would happen.  Wondering what I had done with my life over the past 6 months.  And as I analyzed myself, I realized I really didn't feel like I'd done much to progress. Sure, I've gone to school, I've worked, taken the first half of my certification tests (which I passed btw. YAY!) tried to fulfill my calling without stressing out, I got my depression diagnosed and have been trying to get a handle on it. But the stuff that really matters: Temple attendance, constant scripture study, daily prayers, preparing myself for the temple, budgeting.... I'd allowed that stuff to sit on the back burner and I had told myself "I have 18 months to get on top of it."  And realizing I had to be on top of it now.  I realized I wasn't ready to have him home.  Not that I wouldn't want him home, or be there for him when and if he came home.  But I still have a lot I need to do.

In the process of this waiting, I prayed that what the Lord wanted would be done, because I know from past experiences that the Lord has a plan that is sometimes different from our own.  And trusting the Lord to let that plan to be fulfilled, it wasn't easy, but it was what I needed to do. And I knew that.

So, when I got his text on Wednesday, I felt so relieved, and I knew that our Heavenly Father needed him out in the field right now, and I also knew that he knew our hearts and that Trent hadn't gone out into the field maliciously not taking care of past problems.

In reflecting back now I've realized that this was something to help me to grow as well. It also brought me to know that while I miss him, I truly don't want him here right now.  He is supposed to be out serving the Lord and the People of San Fernando California.  But I never thought that something that I thought was meant for one person, could help me to learn and grow as well.  Or at least snap me back into reality.  The five days we sat waiting I feel brought Trent and I closer together, and it really was a good experience that I gained in learning to stand by someone even when things get ugly or scary.  Married life is not going to be easy for either of us and right now, I'm learning things that I hope will transfer over into our marraige.



So, all in all, it ended well.  But the Lord knows how to teach people the little things that need to be happening.  Life is a constant progression, and we are constantly learning and enduring, and figuring out who we are as individuals.  I still have a long way to go, but I hope that I can gain the knowledge that I need to keep myself going.



Lastly:
Happy 6 months (almost) to us!  I love this boy so much.  Here's to the next 18 months of waiting. I know we can do it, and that it'll go by quickly, so I really need to figure out my life and get my head on straight if I want to be ready for when he comes home. :)

The Lord knows best, it's our job to trust Him

So, something happened tonight that will probably change the rest of my life forever. 

I've realized how much the Lord is in control, again.  And that He knows what he's doing and how everything is supposed to work.

Trent might be coming home.

I know, crazy right. I mean I wanted to pass out when I heard that I MIGHT be going from 18 months to a couple of weeks.  It definitely was not what I had planned for us, but I know that the Lord loves us dearly and that we can do this together if we try our hardest. 

So, here's the start to maybe a new adventure coming my way.  And I pray I have the strength to endure it and come out on top.  Because this one, this one isn't going to be easy.  And I don't know what types of things are going to come my way, and you can only brace yourself for so much you know?

But this I do know:
I love my Heavenly Father and my Savior and I know they can help us through this
I love Trent very much, and while THIS is going to try our relationship I hope that we can grow from it.

It's just a wonderful reminder that the Lord is in control, and while we think we have our lives all mapped out, He knows better, and He understands all of this better than I ever can.  I'm thankful for that, because I don't know if I'd like my life much if I planned it out exactly the way I wanted it to be.  I'd never learn anything and I'd probably be nowhere near the person I need to be.

Procrastination Skills: I gots 'em

I don't really know where this post is going to go today.  Honestly, I'm actually procrastinating studying for the written half of my certification exam that's TOMORROW!! Holy freak I'm finally doing it. 

Haha, I have put this stupid thing off for two years and I really would like to pass it.  Unfortunately, it's also Spring Break, and I'm working at least 30 hours this week.  Motivation? Yeah, none of that in me right now.  The only motivated thing I did this week was make it to the temple (finally) after nearly 6 months.  I guess I have a bit of a lecture from Trent coming in this weeks letter. (Which was supposed to get here yesterday and didn't arrive) But, he told me I could ignore it when I told him I'd been in my e-mail on monday.  I'll probably read it anyway, I deserve to hear what he has to say.  Unless he wrote an entirely different letter. Oh geez, I hope not.

So, back to the test.  It's been widely known that it's not overly difficult if you know your stuff.  Which, I feel I know my stuff, but then again, how can you know that you know?  And you need 80% to pass it, which means I can miss 20 questions, and still pass that section of the test.  But who wants to miss 20 questions? I mean come on! Yeah, you passed, but knowing I could have done better than that would kill me.

Then again, i wont have to fork $120 (that I don't have) out of my own pocket to pay to re-take the test.  which might not happen for awhile. My schedule is so stinking hectic, I wouldn't want to worry about it.  But worry about it I will.

So, here's the deal, I'm going to try my hardest to pass that test EVEN if it's by the skin of my teeth.  I need to pass it, I can't wait anymore to get on with my life.  And I'll tell you, I'm done working minimum wage jobs.  If anything, they've pushed me to finish my education and actually take the dang test.

Ok, enough for today.  Sorry to bore you with my great procrastination skills, but I'm worried that I wont do well.  I guess all I have left to do now is just try and hope that it works.  What's the worst that can happen? I don't pass the test. Oh well. I can retake it. And I'll have to if I want to ever become an interpreter. :)

My Valentine

So,
I have never been one of those lucky girls to have a boyfriend for Valentines day.  Sure, I always wished for it. I'm kind of a hopeless romantic in that sense and it really doesn't help that my birthday is two days before valentines day.
I remember back when I was in high school.  Wishing someone would notice me, or give me a candy gram or something to show they cared for me.  Unfortunately, that never came.  So, I guess I came to despise the holiday in a sense because I wasn't seeming to find the one thing that I wanted in this life.  Someone to care for me.
High School ended, and I went to college.  Met a guy, which if you've been following my blog or if you know my story this shouldn't be new to you.  I was so excited to finally have someone who seemingly cared for me.  And Valentines day was something I looked forward too.  The roses, the candy, the cheesy stuffed animals.  It looked hopeful. Until everything came crashing down around me around Christmas that year.  It was a good thing, because the relationship was extremely unhealthy.  Abuse is something that is never fun, and there was no real love there, he only wanted me for very specific reasons, and they weren't pure in the least bit.  So, I ended up spending Valentines day alone, yet again.  Although, this year and the years that followed to this point were seemingly worse than when I'd been the shy insecure girl from a small charter high school.  I was broken, I felt used and like no one could ever truly love me.
(Ok, I lied a little, I did have some attention that Valentines day, but it was very much unwanted attention.  The guy was nice, but I had no feelings for him whatsoever)
ANYWAY: That was 2010, in between then to now there have obviously been almost three valentines days.  And each time, I felt lonesome.  Sure, someone would sort of come into my life, but it was always after the fact, and of course there were the men vying for my attention that I really had no feelings towards.  It still makes a girl want to question herself you know? Wondering if my standards and tastes were a little too high. Settling, while it's never a good option, was definitely becoming an option.  I probably came across as desperate because I wanted to feel loved and wanted so badly.
Well, two and a half months after Valentines day last year, Trent and I started talking.  This was a guy I completely liked, and I fell for him rather quickly,  which excited me, but on the other hand it scared me too. Rushing into something like a serious relationship scares me to death because, I always get hurt.  But when I prayed about it, I felt nothing but peace.  Also my brother-in-law told me he was one of the best men he knew, so I felt like I should give him the benefit of the doubt and trust him.  Obviously I stuck with it because he's now my missionary and I love him very much.
I told him about my past, and he shared with me stuff from his past, before he had joined the church.  And despite the fact that I had "messed up" and "screwed up" my life,  he didn't care.  He wanted to know the real me, and he did just that.  He came to know me and in the process, we fell for each other.

(Random tidbit: Trent was the first guy EVER to buy me a dozen roses. Definitely a keeper. Wouldn't you agree?)

Anyway, we have been together for a little over 8 months.  Four of those months he's been out serving the Lord and the people of San Fernando.  I couldn't ask for a better man, a man who knows what he needs to do in order to prove himself worthy of me.
And this year, I finally had my valentine.  A man to tell me I'm beautiful and try his hardest to show me his love and affection although we still have 19 1/2 months until we will see each other again.  It's definitely not the way I planned to spend my first valentines day with a man I cared for,  but it'll do.  In his card that he sent me,  he told me how grateful he was that I was in his life, and how hard he is working to prove himself to the Lord that he deserves me and the children we will hopefully raise together.  I love him so very much.

So for all you girls out there, who either have missionaries out in the field, or who will be spending another Valentines day alone. Remember this,  the Lord will bring the right person into your life when the time is right.  And remember, it's on the Lord's timetable, not ours.
For the girls who feel worthless because they can't seem to attract a guy.  The Lord has a special man in store for you, that he's preparing specifically for you.
And lastly, remember who you are, you are daughters of God who have so much more potential than we allow ourselves to believe.

Happy Valentines day, whether you have someone, you're waiting for someone, or you're waiting for that right guy to come into your life.  Eventually, it will come.  <3