So here we are in April, it's been several months since I've last posted. This I know. :) Life has been busy, there's been ups and downs, good and bad. For the good, I had the opportunity to sing in General Conference last weekend. I'll post about that experience another time.
But for tonight, I'm wanting to talk about finding peace despite being painfully single at 23 and realizing you've once again been taken advantage of by someone you trusted and thought was a good person. A better person than even the last guy I dated.
You see, after Trent and I initially ended things several friends set me up on dates. And they went pretty well until I went out with this one guy who just stood out to me in so many ways. He was sweet, on the shy side, considerate, kind, didn't seem bothered that I talked his ear off and asked him a bazillion questions. When he told me he wanted to see me again after our first date I was ecstatic. Never before had I ever had a blind date go so well for me.
Things moved forward, fairly slowly, but we had a handful of wonderful dates, and then the best thing happened. He made the next move and kissed me.
I was once again on cloud nine, especially because I had officially ended things with my missionary (We don't talk anymore for those of you who are wondering) and I thought this would be a great start to a good relationship.
Things progressed, we had fun times together, I was open and honest with him and he was ok with it. Then suddenly he ended it. No real explanation other than he didn't want to hold me back and needed to work through some things. I was very upset, I didn't understand why this had happened. It was totally and completely out of the blue.
So even through my tears, I turned to the Lord and asked for His help. I was lucky enough to find the peace of mind I needed to pull myself up and keep moving forward with a very positive attitude.
Then I got some information tonight that seriously crushed me. I learned that ONCE AGAIN, I had been fooled by a facade. You see, whether or not he actually liked me, all he was really out for was to make out with me. When my friend told me that I was hurt beyond belief.
And even though I have spent a period of time tonight crying and feeling taken advantage of yet again, because I was too naieve to see what was in front of my face (Or at least, I didn't want to overreact or I didn't want to see it) I can still find peace. You see, the Savior suffered and Atoned for each of us in the garden, he felt every pain, injury, heartache, every negative emotion I have ever and will ever feel. And it is that where I can find comfort tonight. I still need a good cry, that's for sure, there's nothing wrong with that. But I can sleep easily tonight knowing that my Savior understands and loves me and will be by my side through this. And that Heavenly Father is watching over me and is wanting my true happiness.
BUT SERIOUSLY!!!
MEN! CUT IT OUT, OK? You treating women like this is stupid. My father once told me that Men are pigs and I honestly believe him now. Just because a woman wants to be kissed and cuddled doesn't mean you have to exploit that. I mean come on!
So needless to say, I'm searching for a guy who's a little less piggish than the majority.
Life is full of adventures, it's how we live and enjoy them that makes us who we are as individuals.
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
2014 - New year, finding who I am
So, everyone makes the joke that you make a New Years Resolution only to break it a month later. Which is primarily one reason I gave up on them a long time ago because I don't like feeling like a failure.
Although, one thing I did learn in 2013, thanks to Trenton's advice and council, is to take goals in short measurable amounts. And for them to be the "non-negotiable" type of goals, and schedules. Upon realizing last march that time flies too fast and if you sit there waiting for TOMORROW then whatever you plan to do will never be accomplished. You'll wake up 12 months later and realize you never lost that 10 pounds, didn't tackle that reading list, didn't develop a closer relationship with God. That is never a good feeling, nor does it help us become better people. The people we're supposed to become.
So that's my goal for this year, I'm going to throw the long list of "goals" (or things that don't really matter) out the window and focus on the things that really do matter. For me, that is losing a bit of weight and trying to eat healthier, that is developing the habit of a serious scripture study and regular temple attendance, that is finally learning how to cope with my depression and not letting it control me anymore, also it's doing the things I want to do, things that will help me to feel fulfilled and worthwhile. Because sitting around watching Nashville or Downton Abbey isn't cutting it. I need to get out, have fun, and most of all learn to love myself.
Have a Happy New year everyone! I hope that you will be able to do the things that you need to do for yourself this year. 2014, it's a new year, a new start. Take advantage of it, and love it.
Love,
Jenn
Although, one thing I did learn in 2013, thanks to Trenton's advice and council, is to take goals in short measurable amounts. And for them to be the "non-negotiable" type of goals, and schedules. Upon realizing last march that time flies too fast and if you sit there waiting for TOMORROW then whatever you plan to do will never be accomplished. You'll wake up 12 months later and realize you never lost that 10 pounds, didn't tackle that reading list, didn't develop a closer relationship with God. That is never a good feeling, nor does it help us become better people. The people we're supposed to become.
So that's my goal for this year, I'm going to throw the long list of "goals" (or things that don't really matter) out the window and focus on the things that really do matter. For me, that is losing a bit of weight and trying to eat healthier, that is developing the habit of a serious scripture study and regular temple attendance, that is finally learning how to cope with my depression and not letting it control me anymore, also it's doing the things I want to do, things that will help me to feel fulfilled and worthwhile. Because sitting around watching Nashville or Downton Abbey isn't cutting it. I need to get out, have fun, and most of all learn to love myself.
Have a Happy New year everyone! I hope that you will be able to do the things that you need to do for yourself this year. 2014, it's a new year, a new start. Take advantage of it, and love it.
Love,
Jenn
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Kicking off my New Adventure
So, I have a tendency to do crazy things when I'm upset or depressed.
Like dying my hair
Or signing up for LDS Singles.
Or putting my guinea pigs on KSL because I've decided I want to give them better homes, THAT and they're a bit expensive. AND I want a dog, because dogs are more loving than guinea pigs are.
Even better? I decided to do all of these things around the same time.
Think I'm crazy now?
Why would I do all of these things?
WELL... it's because Trent and I are no longer together.
I know, shocking right. After being together for 18 months and 14 of those months I was waiting for him, it's over. I'm still unsure of what happened, but what I do know is that inside of one week he went from loving boyfriend, the man I knew and loved dearly, to a complete jerk. And someone I didn't know at all. He's given me the impression that he doesn't care. And I feel tossed aside like a toy that he's bored with. Which hurts, it really hurts. Sure, there were things we both did and said that were stupid. Of course things are going to get hard, they've been difficult for me. Waiting for a missionary isn't an easy task and I applaud those girls who do it and end up with their boys.
Fact of the matter is, not everyone will.
Fact of the matter is, people do change.
Fact of the matter is, you can put every ounce of yourself into a relationship, and remain faithfully loyal to someone even when you're lonely on the weekends and it will still crumble to pieces in front of you.
And that's by far the worst one of them all
For me, this has happened twice. BUT this time was the first time I really and truly cared about the person. The first time, I was young, immature, thought I knew everything and I was infatuated.
I was infatuated when I sent Trent off, we both were, but it was possible to make things work, we both just had to be willing to put for the effort.
So deciding to walk away was a difficult decision, especially after investing so much into this relationship. Not to mention, I loved him dearly and I would have done anything to make him happy. I don't know what changed, but logic tells me that he wasn't completely honest and open with me, and I'm seeing it now. Not feeling appreciated anymore is the worst feeling in the world.
So, I'm moving on, and trying not to hold onto these crumbled hopes and dreams. I've cried a bit, because the emotion has to come out sometime right? And I'm walking down the path that I know I need to be taking. Since I can't control a lot of what has happened this semester, I can control some things, and that's the crazy stuff like dying my hair, selling my pigs, or signing up for LDS Singles.
It's time for a new adventure, because the one I started on has come to an end. I've learned a lot of things about myself, and I'm slowly starting to build up my confidence. I don't need a guy to make me happy, because if I see it that way, I'm going to end up with a jerk. And frankly, I'm done dating jerks, they sap the life out of me.
Who knows where this path will lead me, I have a couple of vague ideas. Graduation being one of them. But otherwise, I'm trying to be open to what life may bring. I'm going to get myself a dog, I may travel, I may take a break and be a beach bum. I don't know. But whatever it is, as long as it's right, I'm accepting it, and I'm ok with it.
So let the new adventures start with me getting a little bit crazy.
Like dying my hair
Or putting my guinea pigs on KSL because I've decided I want to give them better homes, THAT and they're a bit expensive. AND I want a dog, because dogs are more loving than guinea pigs are.
Even better? I decided to do all of these things around the same time.
Think I'm crazy now?
Why would I do all of these things?
WELL... it's because Trent and I are no longer together.
I know, shocking right. After being together for 18 months and 14 of those months I was waiting for him, it's over. I'm still unsure of what happened, but what I do know is that inside of one week he went from loving boyfriend, the man I knew and loved dearly, to a complete jerk. And someone I didn't know at all. He's given me the impression that he doesn't care. And I feel tossed aside like a toy that he's bored with. Which hurts, it really hurts. Sure, there were things we both did and said that were stupid. Of course things are going to get hard, they've been difficult for me. Waiting for a missionary isn't an easy task and I applaud those girls who do it and end up with their boys.
Fact of the matter is, not everyone will.
Fact of the matter is, people do change.
Fact of the matter is, you can put every ounce of yourself into a relationship, and remain faithfully loyal to someone even when you're lonely on the weekends and it will still crumble to pieces in front of you.
And that's by far the worst one of them all
For me, this has happened twice. BUT this time was the first time I really and truly cared about the person. The first time, I was young, immature, thought I knew everything and I was infatuated.
I was infatuated when I sent Trent off, we both were, but it was possible to make things work, we both just had to be willing to put for the effort.
So deciding to walk away was a difficult decision, especially after investing so much into this relationship. Not to mention, I loved him dearly and I would have done anything to make him happy. I don't know what changed, but logic tells me that he wasn't completely honest and open with me, and I'm seeing it now. Not feeling appreciated anymore is the worst feeling in the world.
So, I'm moving on, and trying not to hold onto these crumbled hopes and dreams. I've cried a bit, because the emotion has to come out sometime right? And I'm walking down the path that I know I need to be taking. Since I can't control a lot of what has happened this semester, I can control some things, and that's the crazy stuff like dying my hair, selling my pigs, or signing up for LDS Singles.
It's time for a new adventure, because the one I started on has come to an end. I've learned a lot of things about myself, and I'm slowly starting to build up my confidence. I don't need a guy to make me happy, because if I see it that way, I'm going to end up with a jerk. And frankly, I'm done dating jerks, they sap the life out of me.
Who knows where this path will lead me, I have a couple of vague ideas. Graduation being one of them. But otherwise, I'm trying to be open to what life may bring. I'm going to get myself a dog, I may travel, I may take a break and be a beach bum. I don't know. But whatever it is, as long as it's right, I'm accepting it, and I'm ok with it.
So let the new adventures start with me getting a little bit crazy.
Monday, November 18, 2013
Crossroads - to take the road less traveled
Robert Frost wrote a poem entitled "The Road less Traveled"
"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference"
As we all know, life is kind of it's own free spirited being. It can be kind, and it can be cruel. At least, from our perspective it can be. And in our darkest or troubling times if we remember that the Lord is in control and that He loves us and will intervene on our behalf sometimes. But at the times we hit that cross roads, taking the road less traveled will often be the harder choice - a choice I have made several times in my life, and will most likely make several more times - just like the end of the poem, it will make all of the difference in our lives both present and future. Taking it one step at a time, we will eventually understand the bigger picture, and arrive at the place that Heavenly Father wants us to be.
"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference"
As we all know, life is kind of it's own free spirited being. It can be kind, and it can be cruel. At least, from our perspective it can be. And in our darkest or troubling times if we remember that the Lord is in control and that He loves us and will intervene on our behalf sometimes. But at the times we hit that cross roads, taking the road less traveled will often be the harder choice - a choice I have made several times in my life, and will most likely make several more times - just like the end of the poem, it will make all of the difference in our lives both present and future. Taking it one step at a time, we will eventually understand the bigger picture, and arrive at the place that Heavenly Father wants us to be.
Saturday, November 9, 2013
What is the deal about "Gay Marriage" anyway?
Gay Marriage, Gay rights. We've heard the arguments, and every day we see more and more people siding with them. And going after those who are not.
What's the deal?
I'll tell you what the deal is, at least from my perspective. With movements like this no one is allowed to voice their opinion, unless they are involved in the movement. Anyway, myself included, who disagrees is ripped to pieces, called names, and treated as if we are the bane of their existence. They demand their rights, they demand their free speech. Yet those of us who oppose them are stripped of our rights to free speech. How is that fair? I have a right to disagree with people, yet they tell me that if I do I'm not only wrong but I'm a bigot and I'm discriminating against those who are "different" than me.
I'll admit, yes I am discriminating, but not in they way they're telling me I am. We as human beings discriminate on a daily basis.
For example: I ask you, the reader, to choose between an apple or an orange. Hypothetically, lets say you choose the apple.
Well how dare you for discriminating against those oranges! What did they ever do to you anyway huh? It wouldn't hurt you to pick the orange, so why didn't you do it?
Now, as silly as that sounds I would hope that it's a start to proving my point. There are two types of discrimination. The first was the example I just gave you, it's a process of elimination and a way to coming to a decision. I do it on a daily basis, and you do it every day too. The second one, obviously is the type of discrimination America saw pre Civil Rights movement, with the African Americans in the south. Choosing not to like someone because of the color of their skin and preventing them to attain to the same place as their white peers was wrong. Period. In relation to those who struggle with same sex attraction and identify themselves as gay or lesbian I believe the discrimination happens when bullying becomes a factor. When people are blatantly rude because of an individuals sexual orientation. That is wrong because I believe these people who identify themselves as that have the right to do so, and we don't need to be mean to them, they are our brothers and sisters after all.
BUT, the discrimination they are claiming we who oppose them are doing I believe relates back to my first example. I have a right to make a decision to not support what they are doing. I have a right to not support their agenda. (side note: marriage is not a right that we as American Citizens are given. It's an opportunity we choose as legal adults to choose a spouse we desire to be with for the rest of our lives. It's not a rite of passage)
We see this issue becoming more and more accepted every day. Especially in the media. TV shows like GLEE and Modern Family are teaching the American population that being Gay is ok. The problem is though, the youth of this country are watching those shows. The content is being passed off as "funny" and normal, but they are being subjected to the opinions and agendas of the liberal left who supports the LGBT movement for their "rights".
And as much as I would like to agree with them, I can't. Because acting on homosexual practices and tendencies is not only unnatural, but it goes against the commandments of God. I know, I know I can't bring God and religion into this. But guess what? I can. It's my right, and not only that, but this country was founded by God fearing men and I firmly believe that God had a hand in making sure this country was set up and we were given the rights and freedoms we now enjoy. So yeah, God has a say in this.
NOW, what God does not say is that we should hate the people who struggle with same sex attraction or who identify themselves as Gay or Lesbian. Instead, we should love them as best as we can. But we do not have to accept the act of homosexuality. There is a difference between the person and the act they are doing. To clarify this, this applies to those who are straight as well. Any act that goes against the commandments of God should not be accepted or condoned. I've made choices that didn't coincide with the doctrine I was raised with and I've had to turn to God and ask for His forgiveness. I did not force people to accept the act, because it was wrong. I would like people to accept and love me though, despite the mistakes I have previously made.
Hate the sin, not the sinner.
I wont lie though, sometimes I feel uncomfortable around people who identify themselves as gay or lesbian. But I also feel uncomfortable around people who are straight but do things I believe are wrong. I don't hate them, I hate what they are doing because I believe it wont make them happy like they claim it will.
I don't feel this movement is just about marriage for them. I feel like for the radical members of this group their crusade wont be finished once they get their "right" to marriage. What that is, I don't know and I don't like to speculate about things I don't know to be true. The main thing though goes back to what I said about wanting people to accept me as a person and not by the sins I had committed when I was younger. For the LGBT community it's about forced acceptance of not only themselves but also the lifestyle they are pursuing. I feel the most resistance to them comes from the second one. They say we hate those who are gay, but what they are really saying is we are not willing to accept their lifestyles. I do feel like their agenda is being shoved down my throat, which is one of the greatest reasons why I refuse to support their "rights" crusade. I'm the type of person that when I develop an opinion about something my opinion rarely changes. I also hate being told I'm wrong. I generally tell people to knock it off when they're telling me I'm wrong or else I can turn into the Hulk. (Just kidding) Both groups are at odds with each other though. The only way it really will end is when the radical left will stop attacking and bullying those of us who oppose them.
I'm not going to delve too deeply into the political aspect of this issue, I already have a post on this blog relating to my political opinions on this issue. The one thing I will say, is that I do not believe these people's constitutional rights are being violated because they are being denied the right to get married. I mentioned the Civil Rights movement earlier in this blog, THOSE people's rights were being denied. Segregation was wrong because it was limiting the African Americans in the South from being able to be equal with their White peers. That was wrong, I will say that much. In relation to the LGBT's arguments, there is nowhere in law that says marriage is a right. Their rights are not being violated by not being allowed to marry. Yet they claim it is, and they bully those of us who disagree. That's not fair, I have a right to accept or not accept an opinion if I decide not too. That's exactly what this movement is about, opinions.
So what's the big deal? Well, it doesn't have to be that huge of a deal if the LGBT community would stop attacking those of us who are against it. It wouldn't be a huge deal if I knew that it would stop at marriage. In fact, if I KNEW that is where it would end I probably would let them have their way. Because that means once they get what they want we generally can all live together in peace and leave one another alone. It gets into other areas and issues such as adoption, or where they can get married and that's when I tend to balk. I'm sorry, but for me that's when it truly crosses a line. I also, personally, don't want my children to be influenced by the agendas of people's whose opinions go against what I personally believe, and just like Captain Moroni in the Book of Mormon when he writes the title of liberty, he writes:
"In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom
and our peace, our wives and our children"
That too is my stance, and the reason why for me either supporting or opposing Gay Marriage has become a huge deal in this country. Because there are still those of us who support the belief that we are watched over and protected by God. Why is a huge deal? Why do we oppose it? Because we feel that those agendas are attacking those same beliefs that we stand for: Our God, our religion, our freedoms, our peace, and our families. That is my personal stance, why do I stand against this issue? Because I feel it attacks those things, and I have a right to stand up for myself and for those issues I stand for.
That's the big deal about Gay Marriage.
What's the deal?
I'll tell you what the deal is, at least from my perspective. With movements like this no one is allowed to voice their opinion, unless they are involved in the movement. Anyway, myself included, who disagrees is ripped to pieces, called names, and treated as if we are the bane of their existence. They demand their rights, they demand their free speech. Yet those of us who oppose them are stripped of our rights to free speech. How is that fair? I have a right to disagree with people, yet they tell me that if I do I'm not only wrong but I'm a bigot and I'm discriminating against those who are "different" than me.
I'll admit, yes I am discriminating, but not in they way they're telling me I am. We as human beings discriminate on a daily basis.
For example: I ask you, the reader, to choose between an apple or an orange. Hypothetically, lets say you choose the apple.
Well how dare you for discriminating against those oranges! What did they ever do to you anyway huh? It wouldn't hurt you to pick the orange, so why didn't you do it?
Now, as silly as that sounds I would hope that it's a start to proving my point. There are two types of discrimination. The first was the example I just gave you, it's a process of elimination and a way to coming to a decision. I do it on a daily basis, and you do it every day too. The second one, obviously is the type of discrimination America saw pre Civil Rights movement, with the African Americans in the south. Choosing not to like someone because of the color of their skin and preventing them to attain to the same place as their white peers was wrong. Period. In relation to those who struggle with same sex attraction and identify themselves as gay or lesbian I believe the discrimination happens when bullying becomes a factor. When people are blatantly rude because of an individuals sexual orientation. That is wrong because I believe these people who identify themselves as that have the right to do so, and we don't need to be mean to them, they are our brothers and sisters after all.
BUT, the discrimination they are claiming we who oppose them are doing I believe relates back to my first example. I have a right to make a decision to not support what they are doing. I have a right to not support their agenda. (side note: marriage is not a right that we as American Citizens are given. It's an opportunity we choose as legal adults to choose a spouse we desire to be with for the rest of our lives. It's not a rite of passage)
We see this issue becoming more and more accepted every day. Especially in the media. TV shows like GLEE and Modern Family are teaching the American population that being Gay is ok. The problem is though, the youth of this country are watching those shows. The content is being passed off as "funny" and normal, but they are being subjected to the opinions and agendas of the liberal left who supports the LGBT movement for their "rights".
And as much as I would like to agree with them, I can't. Because acting on homosexual practices and tendencies is not only unnatural, but it goes against the commandments of God. I know, I know I can't bring God and religion into this. But guess what? I can. It's my right, and not only that, but this country was founded by God fearing men and I firmly believe that God had a hand in making sure this country was set up and we were given the rights and freedoms we now enjoy. So yeah, God has a say in this.
NOW, what God does not say is that we should hate the people who struggle with same sex attraction or who identify themselves as Gay or Lesbian. Instead, we should love them as best as we can. But we do not have to accept the act of homosexuality. There is a difference between the person and the act they are doing. To clarify this, this applies to those who are straight as well. Any act that goes against the commandments of God should not be accepted or condoned. I've made choices that didn't coincide with the doctrine I was raised with and I've had to turn to God and ask for His forgiveness. I did not force people to accept the act, because it was wrong. I would like people to accept and love me though, despite the mistakes I have previously made.
Hate the sin, not the sinner.
I wont lie though, sometimes I feel uncomfortable around people who identify themselves as gay or lesbian. But I also feel uncomfortable around people who are straight but do things I believe are wrong. I don't hate them, I hate what they are doing because I believe it wont make them happy like they claim it will.
I don't feel this movement is just about marriage for them. I feel like for the radical members of this group their crusade wont be finished once they get their "right" to marriage. What that is, I don't know and I don't like to speculate about things I don't know to be true. The main thing though goes back to what I said about wanting people to accept me as a person and not by the sins I had committed when I was younger. For the LGBT community it's about forced acceptance of not only themselves but also the lifestyle they are pursuing. I feel the most resistance to them comes from the second one. They say we hate those who are gay, but what they are really saying is we are not willing to accept their lifestyles. I do feel like their agenda is being shoved down my throat, which is one of the greatest reasons why I refuse to support their "rights" crusade. I'm the type of person that when I develop an opinion about something my opinion rarely changes. I also hate being told I'm wrong. I generally tell people to knock it off when they're telling me I'm wrong or else I can turn into the Hulk. (Just kidding) Both groups are at odds with each other though. The only way it really will end is when the radical left will stop attacking and bullying those of us who oppose them.
I'm not going to delve too deeply into the political aspect of this issue, I already have a post on this blog relating to my political opinions on this issue. The one thing I will say, is that I do not believe these people's constitutional rights are being violated because they are being denied the right to get married. I mentioned the Civil Rights movement earlier in this blog, THOSE people's rights were being denied. Segregation was wrong because it was limiting the African Americans in the South from being able to be equal with their White peers. That was wrong, I will say that much. In relation to the LGBT's arguments, there is nowhere in law that says marriage is a right. Their rights are not being violated by not being allowed to marry. Yet they claim it is, and they bully those of us who disagree. That's not fair, I have a right to accept or not accept an opinion if I decide not too. That's exactly what this movement is about, opinions.
So what's the big deal? Well, it doesn't have to be that huge of a deal if the LGBT community would stop attacking those of us who are against it. It wouldn't be a huge deal if I knew that it would stop at marriage. In fact, if I KNEW that is where it would end I probably would let them have their way. Because that means once they get what they want we generally can all live together in peace and leave one another alone. It gets into other areas and issues such as adoption, or where they can get married and that's when I tend to balk. I'm sorry, but for me that's when it truly crosses a line. I also, personally, don't want my children to be influenced by the agendas of people's whose opinions go against what I personally believe, and just like Captain Moroni in the Book of Mormon when he writes the title of liberty, he writes:
"In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom
and our peace, our wives and our children"
That too is my stance, and the reason why for me either supporting or opposing Gay Marriage has become a huge deal in this country. Because there are still those of us who support the belief that we are watched over and protected by God. Why is a huge deal? Why do we oppose it? Because we feel that those agendas are attacking those same beliefs that we stand for: Our God, our religion, our freedoms, our peace, and our families. That is my personal stance, why do I stand against this issue? Because I feel it attacks those things, and I have a right to stand up for myself and for those issues I stand for.
That's the big deal about Gay Marriage.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
New Adventures: Submitting to the Lord's will
So remember my last post how I said I had three guinea pig pups?
Not anymore, one of them just passed away.
The precious, sweet little boy. I knew he was the runt of the litter less than 24 hours after he was born. He was the smallest out of the three that survived the birth. (I've now lost two of the pups). He seemed strong though, and like he would be making it in the end with his brother and sister.
It was a couple of days later that I started to worry about him, both of his siblings were up running around and squeaking. He wasn't, he seemed lethargic and not strong enough to be moving around. He was moving though and my friends said he was probably fine, just tired.
Last night though, I came into my bedroom to find him lying outside the "pigloo" as they call it. At first I thought he had been running around with his siblings but then i realized that he couldn't stand up, and he seemed to be gasping for breath.
To make the story short, I went to people who had raised guinea pigs from birth and sought their advice. Daisy, rejected him in front of me, my roommate and a friend so we were left standing at a crossroads. To either syringe feed him and get his strength back up, or let him go. At first I was all gung ho for syringe feeding, but as I got to thinking about it, I didn't have the time, money or energy to take care of a newborn pup. I'm getting sick for the second time this semester as it is, and I can't afford to wake up every two hours to feed him, then haul him to school with me to make sure he gets fed. Then, as I kept watching his symptoms, I (and the guinea pig experts) thought he may possibly have an Upper Respiratory Infection which is a common ailment among guinea pigs and is a large cause of death.
I stood at the crossroads and debated back and forth with what to do. My gut feeling kept telling me that I needed to let him pass away, but my stubbornness got the better of me so we tried feeding him some liquids (which I did twice) He could hardly open his mouth he was already so weak. By then it was late and I needed to go to bed, so I wrapped him in a towel to keep him warm and I placed him in the cage with his mom and siblings. Then I got on my knee's and asked Heavenly Father what I should do, because I trust him and I knew He'd help me.
That's when my gut feeling was confirmed, I needed to let him go. I cried myself to sleep last night because of what a hard decision I was making. I was letting a little creature die, even though I could come through and be the hero and save his life.
The next day, I went to class, had dinner with a friend, then came home to do homework. He was still alive by the time I got back, I was surprised, but I put him in the pocket of my hoodie because I knew he would probably not last long and I didn't want him to die alone.
Over the next several hours I had several people tell me that I should just try to hand feed him and let him live. Once again I went back to the inner wrestling, but the first decision kept winning. That, and I could tell he was too far gone for any help.
About an hour later he passed away finally. Watching him struggle and suffer at the end was the hardest part for me. I wanted Heavenly Father to just take him and ease his suffering, I wished there was something I could do to ease his suffering. But I found myself holding him close and watching him try to fight for life.
When he finally did pass away, the tears came freely. It was heart breaking, losing a second pup. Yet at the same time I felt peace, knowing that he was not suffering anymore. Nor would he ever have to suffer again.
Submitting to the Lord's will is easy when the going is easy. But when the going get's tough, it's the wrestling between the inner natural man versus what the Lord's will is that makes it difficult. We are told by the world around us that we need to be independent, save the say, and do it ourselves in order to be successful. I feel that's how Hollywood and other media forms have failed us. They've taught us that we cannot experience loss, they've taught us that we cannot but our trust and faith in God and make our will one with His. We must always remember, that sometimes, the Lord's will is not our own. Sure, we can always go our own way and do it ourselves. We may even be successful physically. But spiritually, we wont be. The Lord see's the bigger picture, and because of that we must always listen and ask what His will is, not ours. And it'll be that by matching our will to his that we will become stronger spiritually, and we will be blessed from on high. Because of that, I will trust my Heavenly Father and my brother Jesus Christ. By relying on both of them, we will be able to make it through this life and come out on top in the end. Not unscathed mind you, but we will come out on top.
Never forget that.
Not anymore, one of them just passed away.
It was a couple of days later that I started to worry about him, both of his siblings were up running around and squeaking. He wasn't, he seemed lethargic and not strong enough to be moving around. He was moving though and my friends said he was probably fine, just tired.
Last night though, I came into my bedroom to find him lying outside the "pigloo" as they call it. At first I thought he had been running around with his siblings but then i realized that he couldn't stand up, and he seemed to be gasping for breath.
To make the story short, I went to people who had raised guinea pigs from birth and sought their advice. Daisy, rejected him in front of me, my roommate and a friend so we were left standing at a crossroads. To either syringe feed him and get his strength back up, or let him go. At first I was all gung ho for syringe feeding, but as I got to thinking about it, I didn't have the time, money or energy to take care of a newborn pup. I'm getting sick for the second time this semester as it is, and I can't afford to wake up every two hours to feed him, then haul him to school with me to make sure he gets fed. Then, as I kept watching his symptoms, I (and the guinea pig experts) thought he may possibly have an Upper Respiratory Infection which is a common ailment among guinea pigs and is a large cause of death.
I stood at the crossroads and debated back and forth with what to do. My gut feeling kept telling me that I needed to let him pass away, but my stubbornness got the better of me so we tried feeding him some liquids (which I did twice) He could hardly open his mouth he was already so weak. By then it was late and I needed to go to bed, so I wrapped him in a towel to keep him warm and I placed him in the cage with his mom and siblings. Then I got on my knee's and asked Heavenly Father what I should do, because I trust him and I knew He'd help me.
That's when my gut feeling was confirmed, I needed to let him go. I cried myself to sleep last night because of what a hard decision I was making. I was letting a little creature die, even though I could come through and be the hero and save his life.
The next day, I went to class, had dinner with a friend, then came home to do homework. He was still alive by the time I got back, I was surprised, but I put him in the pocket of my hoodie because I knew he would probably not last long and I didn't want him to die alone.
Over the next several hours I had several people tell me that I should just try to hand feed him and let him live. Once again I went back to the inner wrestling, but the first decision kept winning. That, and I could tell he was too far gone for any help.
About an hour later he passed away finally. Watching him struggle and suffer at the end was the hardest part for me. I wanted Heavenly Father to just take him and ease his suffering, I wished there was something I could do to ease his suffering. But I found myself holding him close and watching him try to fight for life.
When he finally did pass away, the tears came freely. It was heart breaking, losing a second pup. Yet at the same time I felt peace, knowing that he was not suffering anymore. Nor would he ever have to suffer again.
Submitting to the Lord's will is easy when the going is easy. But when the going get's tough, it's the wrestling between the inner natural man versus what the Lord's will is that makes it difficult. We are told by the world around us that we need to be independent, save the say, and do it ourselves in order to be successful. I feel that's how Hollywood and other media forms have failed us. They've taught us that we cannot experience loss, they've taught us that we cannot but our trust and faith in God and make our will one with His. We must always remember, that sometimes, the Lord's will is not our own. Sure, we can always go our own way and do it ourselves. We may even be successful physically. But spiritually, we wont be. The Lord see's the bigger picture, and because of that we must always listen and ask what His will is, not ours. And it'll be that by matching our will to his that we will become stronger spiritually, and we will be blessed from on high. Because of that, I will trust my Heavenly Father and my brother Jesus Christ. By relying on both of them, we will be able to make it through this life and come out on top in the end. Not unscathed mind you, but we will come out on top.
Never forget that.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
New Adventures: Baby Guinea pigs
So, many of you don't know that I own Guinea Pigs. Which, in and of itself has been an adventure.
It all started when Trent hit his 6 month mark. I decided that since I had made it 6 months I should reward myself in some way. So, I decided, randomly, to buy a guinea pig. My friend Kenzie and I skipped class and went to the local PetsMart and I got set up for my little guinea pig. I named him Gatsby, in honor of the fact that the name not only fits him, but also because it's Trent's favorite novel.
So, I had my little pet. He was so super shy (still is, in fact he hates it when I try to pick him up). Anyway, he proved to be a nice way to relieve my depression. So, I tell people that's why I have him, which is partially true, it's been nice to have an animal to take care of. Plus, I feel it's making me more responsible.
Anyway, I had to move to a new apartment complex because the place I lived was going to become extended MTC housing.
(For those of you who don't know what that is, when young men and women leave on missions for the LDS Church they spend a period of time in the Missionary Training Center. Depending on if they're speaking a language or not determines how long they stay there. And since the Church lowered the age for young men and women to serve missions there was a huge influx of missionaries, so they needed a place to house them.)
I got permission though from my new complex to keep Gatsby and so we moved to our new place.
Over the summer I read that Guinea Pigs do better in pairs and several breeders I met confirmed that. So, I decided to try and get Gatsby a friend so then he wouldn't get too lonely while I was gone in the Fall. Being a senior + working = not as much time as he needs. So, I started looking on KSL for a guinea pig for sale that I could get for cheap. And one day luck arrived, the ad said "Free Male Guinea Pig". What the heck right? So I contacted him and we met up and I got my second pig:
I kept them separate for a couple of days, then put them together in the same cage. After a little bit of dominance issues, they got along fairly well.
Then about a month later I felt like I should check to be sure my new little pig was really a boy. And.... yeah, she wasn't a boy. By then, they'd been together awhile so I figured she was pregnant. And deciding to stick with "The Great Gatsby" and literary classic names theme I named her Daisy.
Anyway, I kept watching her for a good month or so, and by the end of September, she was noticeably pregnant. I spent time at night to hold and pet her, and to check her progress so I could try to estimate how close she was to giving birth. Several times I was able to feel the babies moving in her belly, and that was a sweet experience and I was reminded what a miracle life is. Over time, they stopped moving as much so I figured she was close and they must be packed really tightly in there.
This past friday I was hanging out with my baby sister in my apartment and she wanted to hold Daisy. Daisy was grumpier than usual so the petting and attention didn't last too long. A few minutes after we put her back, she started making a weird high pitched squeak and was behaving weird. After several minutes of that I figured she was about to have her pups, so I got super excited. Mainly because I had thought I would come home from school one night and they'd just be there, so being able to be there during the birth was really neat for me.
I'll spare you all the details, but after about 30-40 minutes Daisy gave birth to four little pups. Unfortunately, one was born dead. I'm not sure why, I really think she was breached and so wasn't able to get air in time. That may be the reason, and it may not, but I was still really sad because I didn't think that was going to happen. Especially since two had been born just fine. But I soon found comfort in the three little ones that lived, and i have spent the last several days just loving them. Here's some pictures:
The last 72+ hours have been awesome. They are so sweet and cute, and I'm floored at how tiny they are (yet how big they are in comparison to their mama). I get to keep them for 6 weeks and I want to make every moment count because these little guys are an adventure in and of themselves.
Who would have known 7 months ago that I would have had this adventure in my life. But I'm loving it and I'm grateful for it. Just like the title of this blog "New Adventures" life is AWESOME! And it's so worth living, especially when you experience something as small as the birth of some baby guinea pigs.
It all started when Trent hit his 6 month mark. I decided that since I had made it 6 months I should reward myself in some way. So, I decided, randomly, to buy a guinea pig. My friend Kenzie and I skipped class and went to the local PetsMart and I got set up for my little guinea pig. I named him Gatsby, in honor of the fact that the name not only fits him, but also because it's Trent's favorite novel.
Anyway, I had to move to a new apartment complex because the place I lived was going to become extended MTC housing.
(For those of you who don't know what that is, when young men and women leave on missions for the LDS Church they spend a period of time in the Missionary Training Center. Depending on if they're speaking a language or not determines how long they stay there. And since the Church lowered the age for young men and women to serve missions there was a huge influx of missionaries, so they needed a place to house them.)
I got permission though from my new complex to keep Gatsby and so we moved to our new place.
Over the summer I read that Guinea Pigs do better in pairs and several breeders I met confirmed that. So, I decided to try and get Gatsby a friend so then he wouldn't get too lonely while I was gone in the Fall. Being a senior + working = not as much time as he needs. So, I started looking on KSL for a guinea pig for sale that I could get for cheap. And one day luck arrived, the ad said "Free Male Guinea Pig". What the heck right? So I contacted him and we met up and I got my second pig:
Then about a month later I felt like I should check to be sure my new little pig was really a boy. And.... yeah, she wasn't a boy. By then, they'd been together awhile so I figured she was pregnant. And deciding to stick with "The Great Gatsby" and literary classic names theme I named her Daisy.
Anyway, I kept watching her for a good month or so, and by the end of September, she was noticeably pregnant. I spent time at night to hold and pet her, and to check her progress so I could try to estimate how close she was to giving birth. Several times I was able to feel the babies moving in her belly, and that was a sweet experience and I was reminded what a miracle life is. Over time, they stopped moving as much so I figured she was close and they must be packed really tightly in there.
This past friday I was hanging out with my baby sister in my apartment and she wanted to hold Daisy. Daisy was grumpier than usual so the petting and attention didn't last too long. A few minutes after we put her back, she started making a weird high pitched squeak and was behaving weird. After several minutes of that I figured she was about to have her pups, so I got super excited. Mainly because I had thought I would come home from school one night and they'd just be there, so being able to be there during the birth was really neat for me.
I'll spare you all the details, but after about 30-40 minutes Daisy gave birth to four little pups. Unfortunately, one was born dead. I'm not sure why, I really think she was breached and so wasn't able to get air in time. That may be the reason, and it may not, but I was still really sad because I didn't think that was going to happen. Especially since two had been born just fine. But I soon found comfort in the three little ones that lived, and i have spent the last several days just loving them. Here's some pictures:
 |
| Three little pups |
 |
| I think this one is a boy, he looks just like his mama |
 |
| This little guy is the smallest of the litter, but the sweetest and calmest |
 | |
| I think this one is the only girl of the bunch, she's a cutie too and she's going to look like her dad! |
Who would have known 7 months ago that I would have had this adventure in my life. But I'm loving it and I'm grateful for it. Just like the title of this blog "New Adventures" life is AWESOME! And it's so worth living, especially when you experience something as small as the birth of some baby guinea pigs.
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