So after a very long 4 years I'm about to finish my college journey.
Which, in and of itself has been a very long adventure. And I can look back and remember very clearly, finally moving out of the house, starting school, eager and excited for my future.
I remember seeing my life go down a path I never expected - which included a broken heart and soul. The sleepless nights, the nights I cried myself to sleep, the decisions I had to make, the growing up I had to do.
Then there was my starting over years. Two years ago moving out again on my own, determined to work harder and be even better. Being demoted at Los Hermanos, and feeling life was so unfair. But being lucky enough to find work quickly. Losing it over my Lingustics final because I was so stressed and frustrated. The multiple goldfish I killed. The fun nights and the good talks I had with all my new friends and roommates. Passing my first 18 credit semester during the spring semester of 2012.
Then meeting Trent and falling head over heels in love which was a feeling I thought I had experienced, but never truly had.
Four months later after starting school, I let him go and turned him over to the Lord as he went to serve faithfully for 24 months to teach others about the gospel that has brought so much enlightenment and happiness into both of our lives.
Continuing my uphill battle with depression, but fought back because of my desire to finish school. I turned 22, enjoyed some more fun times with new roommates and friends. Trent nearly coming home, and how I had to turn that over to the Lord and let Him take care of the situation.
I passed my written exam for my Interpreters Certification.
The vow to study for BOTH the math placement test as well as my performance test which only half happened. But I overcame my fear and took both tests. And while they didn't go the way I wanted I knew that it would be ok, there may just be other things in the future instead of what I wanted. (Plus I hadn't been prepared, that's always a good lesson to remember).
I have learned so much in the past few years about trusting my Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ. They both see a bigger picture than I can, and our Savior understands everything we're going through and is empathetic to our situations.
All in all, I've learned a lot, I've grown a lot. I've had to re-build myself spiritually and emotionally, and like Trent always tells me, I've managed to stay on top. In the moment, it may not seem that way but if you keep pushing forward and getting up out of bed every morning eventually you'll make it.
Life has a way of taking you in different paths and teaching you things you never expected to have happen in your life. Just be brave, and trust in Heavenly Father and Christ. They'll get you through it, and when you look to the past you'll realize how much you've grown and how there are things you are grateful to have learned despite the pain. This life is worth it, we all knew that when we came to this earth. It honestly takes us remembering who we are and loving the Lord, with Him at our side anything is possible.
Life is full of adventures, it's how we live and enjoy them that makes us who we are as individuals.
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Friday, August 2, 2013
The Lord sees the whole picture a lot better than we can
So, for those of you who are friends with me on Facebook you know that this past week has been a little bit rough for me.
You see, I lost my job monday afternoon. Ironically, it was four hours after I finished e-mailing with Trent, and we weren't even able to e-mail very long because of transfers (more about that later). So, everything had been alright, I'd spent a lazy day fooling around on the internet, then I got ready, caught my usual bus and headed up to work. I was listening to music, the day was great, my ponytail had some nice bounce to it, and I was happy. Truly happy.
Then I got to work, and as I walked up towards the registers to clock in, my manager stopped me and said we needed to talk. I joked with him about being in trouble and he gave me this look that said it wasn't good. So I started panicking. My logic though, said that I had done something wrong and would get bawled out for it, told to change then I'd get on with my evening. Which was fine, not that I was looking forward to it but if I needed to change, well then heck- I'll do my best to change.
Scott sat me down at the table then handed me a paycheck stub and informed me that was my last paycheck, because he had to let me go. I don't remember the whole conversation, mainly because I was most likely in shock, but I do remember words like:
"We're downsizing."
"Ernesto want's a new staff"
"I was given a list of people to get rid of."
I started frantically asking what I did wrong only to have Scott shake his head. Whether that meant he wasn't sure, he didn't agree with it, or I didn't want to know - I really don't know. But I do feel like he felt bad about it, maybe he was protecting me too. I'm not 100% sure, but either way, I was out of a job. Which was something I never saw coming, mainly because I was a supervisor and I made more. Plus, I felt like I was one of the better staff members, and I tried to keep the restaurant looking good and tried to build up sales as best as I could. I left the place in tears, wondering how in the world I was going to make ends meet. That was my source of income, my rent was due soon, I had utilities to pay soon.
Needless to say I said a very few choice words about my boss that I will not repeat here because... they're pretty inappropriate.
But it did have to do with the fact that I felt very taken advantage of by my boss and how he could turn around and kick me to the curb with no excuse, no warning, no nothing. He didn't give a flying rat's butt about me and my life.
**If you're thinking that what happened there was illegal, it wasn't. Utah is a right to work state, which means he didn't have to give any prior warning, and could let me go at any time for any reason if he deemed it necessary** (I know, it sucks)
I spent the rest of the evening crying while frantically filling out application after application for jobs. I also had to call my parents (swallowing that pride of mine) to ask for some help, which they offered too, as long as I came home and worked for it. Which I ended up doing. (And my Mom's kitchen looks beautiful now thanks to my wonderful hard work.)
But that monday night as I went to bed I decided to make a recording for Trent telling him what was going on. Because I really just wanted to talk to him about it, and I felt that was the best way to do it. But before I even started recording the thought came to mind that I had to turn this burden over to the Lord and He would help me through this time of my life. That I had to do my part - obviously - but if I met him halfway, and put my faith in Him and Christ's Atonement, that I would not only be at peace, but I would be able to find a job when the time was right. And after having that experience with my laptop a couple weeks ago, I knew in my heart that it was true. So that night when I knelt down to pray I told Heavenly Father that I trusted him with my whole heart, and that I knew if I tried my best the outcome would be positive.
So, Tuesday I woke up and continued to apply for jobs, both online and in the store. And while I was STILL very upset and numb, as well as a feeling of insecurities in my ability to do my job I did know the Lord would provide. In the process I continued to study my scriptures, and the words of the Prophet's from Conference. And for the whole week I just felt at peace, like everything will be ok and it all will work out when the time was right.
Wednesday I had some things to do on Campus so I decided to try and talk to some places that I had applied for. The one thing that kept worrying me was the fact that most places wouldn't start me until about a week before school starts, and I kind of needed a job now. One of the places I applied though was the bookstore on campus. I have a good friend who works there, so I stopped in to see her, we chatted and I told her I'd applied and she scored me an interview. (Despite the fact that my paperwork had gotten lost in the system.)
That interview was today, and I don't know if they hire anybody on the spot. But they hired me as soon as the interview wrapped up. The best part, is that I have to do so many trainings before they're comfortable placing me in a busy spot. SO, I start working next week. I am slightly concerned that because it is a temporary position that I'll find myself in this same situation when the initial busy few weeks are over. BUT, I do feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be for the time being that that the Lord will help me find where I need to be when the time comes. And also, even during the training, I'll be making some funds to build up my bank account even prior to me deciding to stick with the bookstore or not.
In thinking about this whole week (which was a VERY long week I might add) sure, it's frustrating losing a job, I don't think it will ever NOT be frustrating for that to happen. And while I still find it unfair, I am so very grateful that it happened when it did, and I truly feel like the Lord's hand was in the timing of it. I had been considering getting work on campus, but had been putting off applying for other jobs because well, I was tired and I was lazy. I honestly didn't care and I was waiting for my certification exam results (which come in 2 weeks guys!! AHH!). The thought occurred to me though, that if this had happened too soon, or a couple weeks later I would seriously be in a bad position. Because everywhere is hiring RIGHT NOW. They want the flexible time for the students to get the trained. Any later, I would probably been jobless for a longer period of time than four days.
The key lesson though, is the simple lesson taught in Jacob 4:10 in the Book of Mormon, which reads:
"Wherefore, brethren, seek not to counsel the Lord, but to take counsel from his hand. For behold, ye yourselves know that he counseleth in wisdom, and in justice, and in great mercy, over all his works."
That scripture has helped me many times through tough parts of my life. But it is a good reminder to use our agency to put our ultimate trust in a loving Heavenly Father who gave us life. He put's us here and gives us trials that help us to learn and to grow. Without them, we couldn't become better, we couldn't progress to be like Him or be with Him again. Yes, some (if not all) of the hard things may seem unfair, and we may never fully understand why they happen. If you partake of the gift of our Savior's atonement though it will give you the peace of mind to know that in the end, everything will be worked out.
So, let's trust the Lord, because He see's the whole picture, and turn to the Savior even during the easy times, because he is the one person who truly "get's it". If you do those things, They both will make sure everything will work out for our benefit.
Quick Trent update:
Trent has been transferred to a new area after being in his second one for a little over 6 months. The really neat thing though is that he has once again been asked to be a District Leader and a Trainer. He has his work cut out for him, that's for sure. But I know he's doing his best, and that the Lord is blessing him for it. For those of you who read this though, if you could keep him in your prayers, I know he would appreciate it. The biggest thing I'm grateful for though is the fact that even though he was so busy getting ready to move, he still took the time to remember me and send me a short letter. I'm not only blessed to have a personal relationship with a wonderful Heavenly Father who helps me through hard things, but I'm also blessed to have a wonderful man in my life who takes the time to remember and care about me even when he's busy.
You see, I lost my job monday afternoon. Ironically, it was four hours after I finished e-mailing with Trent, and we weren't even able to e-mail very long because of transfers (more about that later). So, everything had been alright, I'd spent a lazy day fooling around on the internet, then I got ready, caught my usual bus and headed up to work. I was listening to music, the day was great, my ponytail had some nice bounce to it, and I was happy. Truly happy.
Then I got to work, and as I walked up towards the registers to clock in, my manager stopped me and said we needed to talk. I joked with him about being in trouble and he gave me this look that said it wasn't good. So I started panicking. My logic though, said that I had done something wrong and would get bawled out for it, told to change then I'd get on with my evening. Which was fine, not that I was looking forward to it but if I needed to change, well then heck- I'll do my best to change.
Scott sat me down at the table then handed me a paycheck stub and informed me that was my last paycheck, because he had to let me go. I don't remember the whole conversation, mainly because I was most likely in shock, but I do remember words like:
"We're downsizing."
"Ernesto want's a new staff"
"I was given a list of people to get rid of."
I started frantically asking what I did wrong only to have Scott shake his head. Whether that meant he wasn't sure, he didn't agree with it, or I didn't want to know - I really don't know. But I do feel like he felt bad about it, maybe he was protecting me too. I'm not 100% sure, but either way, I was out of a job. Which was something I never saw coming, mainly because I was a supervisor and I made more. Plus, I felt like I was one of the better staff members, and I tried to keep the restaurant looking good and tried to build up sales as best as I could. I left the place in tears, wondering how in the world I was going to make ends meet. That was my source of income, my rent was due soon, I had utilities to pay soon.
Needless to say I said a very few choice words about my boss that I will not repeat here because... they're pretty inappropriate.
But it did have to do with the fact that I felt very taken advantage of by my boss and how he could turn around and kick me to the curb with no excuse, no warning, no nothing. He didn't give a flying rat's butt about me and my life.
**If you're thinking that what happened there was illegal, it wasn't. Utah is a right to work state, which means he didn't have to give any prior warning, and could let me go at any time for any reason if he deemed it necessary** (I know, it sucks)
I spent the rest of the evening crying while frantically filling out application after application for jobs. I also had to call my parents (swallowing that pride of mine) to ask for some help, which they offered too, as long as I came home and worked for it. Which I ended up doing. (And my Mom's kitchen looks beautiful now thanks to my wonderful hard work.)
But that monday night as I went to bed I decided to make a recording for Trent telling him what was going on. Because I really just wanted to talk to him about it, and I felt that was the best way to do it. But before I even started recording the thought came to mind that I had to turn this burden over to the Lord and He would help me through this time of my life. That I had to do my part - obviously - but if I met him halfway, and put my faith in Him and Christ's Atonement, that I would not only be at peace, but I would be able to find a job when the time was right. And after having that experience with my laptop a couple weeks ago, I knew in my heart that it was true. So that night when I knelt down to pray I told Heavenly Father that I trusted him with my whole heart, and that I knew if I tried my best the outcome would be positive.
So, Tuesday I woke up and continued to apply for jobs, both online and in the store. And while I was STILL very upset and numb, as well as a feeling of insecurities in my ability to do my job I did know the Lord would provide. In the process I continued to study my scriptures, and the words of the Prophet's from Conference. And for the whole week I just felt at peace, like everything will be ok and it all will work out when the time was right.
Wednesday I had some things to do on Campus so I decided to try and talk to some places that I had applied for. The one thing that kept worrying me was the fact that most places wouldn't start me until about a week before school starts, and I kind of needed a job now. One of the places I applied though was the bookstore on campus. I have a good friend who works there, so I stopped in to see her, we chatted and I told her I'd applied and she scored me an interview. (Despite the fact that my paperwork had gotten lost in the system.)
That interview was today, and I don't know if they hire anybody on the spot. But they hired me as soon as the interview wrapped up. The best part, is that I have to do so many trainings before they're comfortable placing me in a busy spot. SO, I start working next week. I am slightly concerned that because it is a temporary position that I'll find myself in this same situation when the initial busy few weeks are over. BUT, I do feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be for the time being that that the Lord will help me find where I need to be when the time comes. And also, even during the training, I'll be making some funds to build up my bank account even prior to me deciding to stick with the bookstore or not.
In thinking about this whole week (which was a VERY long week I might add) sure, it's frustrating losing a job, I don't think it will ever NOT be frustrating for that to happen. And while I still find it unfair, I am so very grateful that it happened when it did, and I truly feel like the Lord's hand was in the timing of it. I had been considering getting work on campus, but had been putting off applying for other jobs because well, I was tired and I was lazy. I honestly didn't care and I was waiting for my certification exam results (which come in 2 weeks guys!! AHH!). The thought occurred to me though, that if this had happened too soon, or a couple weeks later I would seriously be in a bad position. Because everywhere is hiring RIGHT NOW. They want the flexible time for the students to get the trained. Any later, I would probably been jobless for a longer period of time than four days.
The key lesson though, is the simple lesson taught in Jacob 4:10 in the Book of Mormon, which reads:
"Wherefore, brethren, seek not to counsel the Lord, but to take counsel from his hand. For behold, ye yourselves know that he counseleth in wisdom, and in justice, and in great mercy, over all his works."
That scripture has helped me many times through tough parts of my life. But it is a good reminder to use our agency to put our ultimate trust in a loving Heavenly Father who gave us life. He put's us here and gives us trials that help us to learn and to grow. Without them, we couldn't become better, we couldn't progress to be like Him or be with Him again. Yes, some (if not all) of the hard things may seem unfair, and we may never fully understand why they happen. If you partake of the gift of our Savior's atonement though it will give you the peace of mind to know that in the end, everything will be worked out.
So, let's trust the Lord, because He see's the whole picture, and turn to the Savior even during the easy times, because he is the one person who truly "get's it". If you do those things, They both will make sure everything will work out for our benefit.
Quick Trent update:
Trent has been transferred to a new area after being in his second one for a little over 6 months. The really neat thing though is that he has once again been asked to be a District Leader and a Trainer. He has his work cut out for him, that's for sure. But I know he's doing his best, and that the Lord is blessing him for it. For those of you who read this though, if you could keep him in your prayers, I know he would appreciate it. The biggest thing I'm grateful for though is the fact that even though he was so busy getting ready to move, he still took the time to remember me and send me a short letter. I'm not only blessed to have a personal relationship with a wonderful Heavenly Father who helps me through hard things, but I'm also blessed to have a wonderful man in my life who takes the time to remember and care about me even when he's busy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)