Ok, now I am by all means no expert in this. Nor am I saying this is exactly what everyone needs to know because I recognize that everyone is different. But these are the few things that have occurred to me over the last four weeks since Trent left.
1. Sincere, daily scripture study:
I have never been good at this, and it is something I need to get into the habit of, and I'm currently working on it. And even then, it can't be half-hearted, or hurried. You literally need to set aside the time to do it and then actually do it. I used to roll my eyes at people that said "Get up a half hour earlier if you need to. Or stay up fifteen minutes later." But unfortunately that is my advice to anyone these days as well. Find a time that is best for you, where you can't be interrupted, and where you can feel the Spirit and recieve personal revelation. I find mine is at 6 A.M. because my roommates aren't awake yet, and my apartment is quiet and peaceful. I also find that studying something other than just reading helps as well. I'm currently working my way through "Preach my Gospel" and reading the Book of Mormon or Conference talks on the side. I eventually want to work my way through all the Standard works, as well as seriously study a few things as well. Even if you end up having just fifteen minutes, just reading a chapter from the scriptures can really influence your day. But you cannot be distracted. And in all reality, there is no harm in trying to understand everything the Gospel has. My missionary is out there learning and growing, so I should as well. (Not to mention, I think it will REALLY help with motherhood down the road.)
2. Stay busy:
Everyone says this, and while it can be tough it's true. Make sure you have stuff to keep you going through the day and the week. It will help the time fly by. For instance, I'm currently in school and have classwork to do. Some days as I take off my make up to go to bed it feels like I just put it on. Crazy!
3. Take time for yourself:
This is in relation to #2. There are days when I just really miss him and it sucks having him gone. Those are days when I really do need to allow myself to mourn so to speak. I'll cry, write letters to him in a separate journal, look through my pictures of him/us, listen to our music. And just let the time pass by spending time on Facebook, Pinterest, or watching a movie. One thing I am currently working on though and actually recommend is have a time limit for yourself. Say, one maybe two hours and then go back to doing something productive, or do something to take your mind off of it. Dwelling on the fact he's gone is not going to bring him back faster, it will only slow time down. :) (Once again, something I'm working on.)
4. Take the time to get ready in the morning:
I can't tell you how much this will make my day fundamentally better. Taking the time to pretty yourself up while getting ready in the morning will do wonders. Especially if you're tired or sad. It makes you feel more confident, and it reminds you as to why you have a guy out there who loves you. 'Cause you're beautiful!!!! (I also like to turn up some fun music to get me singing and dancing, that will completely improve my mood as well.)
5. Be clean:
I am a messy person by trade. Ask my family or any of my roommates past and present. One thing my dad pointed out to me though is that in decluttering, doing laundry, putting stuff away when you're done with it, and just cleaning up after yourself, not only can make you feel better but it allows the spirit to be with you more. Which is especially needed during this time because I feel the adversary really likes to work on us girls. It doesn't have to be a huge project. Just a little at a time. For instance: While you're waiting for your laundry to get done, organize your drawers and give everything a place. Also, this can be a good time to get rid of stuff you're not wearing.
6. Cut back on media:
This might vary from person to person, but I am finding this helps to improve my mood. I'm addicted to movies, I wont lie, I enjoy them. A lot. It's also my wall I can hide behind when I don't want to face the world and believe me, it's been a bad habit for too long. I had like 5-6 different T.V. shows I was following and a million other movies I HAD to go and see before my boy left. My advice, is there an absence of the spirit after you watch these things? I've felt a million times better since clearing my schedule of my tv shows and must see movies. Not to mention, it's given me a ton more time to focus on other things.
Sorry to sound so preachy, especially since Trent hasn't been gone that long. These are just a few things that I feel can really help us go from day to day. These have helped me, and it might not be what we need to become the woman our missionary needs. But it's definitely a start.
"Inch by inch, life's a cinch. Yard by yard, life is hard."
:)
Life is full of adventures, it's how we live and enjoy them that makes us who we are as individuals.
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